What Notre Dame means to me

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I received an e-mail the other day from a "fan." This gentleman asked me, in light of my propensity for questioning some of Notre Dame's decisions, if I even really liked Notre Dame.

Darn, someone finally figured me out.

I was born and raised Catholic in South Bend, attended my first Notre Dame football game when I was six-years old. Flew to my first bowl game in Dallas when I was 10. Grew up attending virtually every home Notre Dame football and basketball game. Watched Notre Dame win football national titles when I was six (1966), 13 (1973) and 17 (1977) from my home seven miles from the campus.

I attended a Catholic grade school, high school and college, graduating from Notre Dame in 1982. I played baseball for the Irish, and then spent the next 25 years writing about Notre Dame and Notre Dame athletics.

I've written three books, all about Notre Dame football. I'm in the process of planning my next two books—both pertaining to Notre Dame football.

My wife works at Notre Dame. I met her while she was working in Gerry Faust's football office during her first tour of duty there. My son was baptized, confirmed and made his first communion in the Catholic Church. We'll be sending our son off to college about a year from now…hopefully to Notre Dame. My wife and I renewed our vows in the Log Chapel at Notre Dame, after my wife converted to Catholicism.

But no, I don't care for Notre Dame at all. I'm just like all the critics of Notre Dame out there. I hate the place and don't believe in anything that it stands for. Can't you tell by the way I've lived my life?

Like anyone else with an allegiance toward Notre Dame, I get upset when it is criticized to levels beyond reasonable analysis. But it's good that Notre Dame is scrutinized as closely as it is. Notre Dame was meant to be scrutinized. Father Sorin founded the University on the basis of the highest Christian ideals. Notre Dame is scrutinized closely because it can be.

Then along came a guy by the name of Knute Rockne, who took the high standards of Notre Dame and applied them to establish the nation's greatest and most famous football program. By doing so, he raised the bar. Notre Dame had to win football games and do it in the most dignified way possible, with true student-athletes. No cheating, no stretching of the rules, everything on the up and up. Not every human being who represented Notre Dame along the way has upheld that ideal, but it has remained the ideal nonetheless.

So the scrutiny comes with the territory. I try not react to Notre Dame being scrutinized, and I encourage Irish fans to do the same. The scrutiny is a compliment. It is a good thing. It is why Notre Dame is different. It can withstand the scrutiny.

Just this past year, Notre Dame proved that it is different when the football team recorded a cumulative grade-point average of above 3.0. That's nothing short of amazing in today's major college football world.

Notre Dame is different, very different, and the scrutiny proves it over and over again.

I'm amused when people say that Notre Dame would be just a small Catholic school in South Bend, Ind., that nobody cared about were it not for the great football program. To a large extent, that is true. Notre Dame would not have the national appeal were it not for what Rockne built, Leahy obsessed about, Parseghian orchestrated, Devine continued, Holtz revived and Charlie Weis improved.

But Notre Dame football would not have the national impact it has on people were it not for the roots upon which Notre Dame was founded. A great part of the appeal, whether we realize it or not, is because of the spiritual nature of the school. There was no such thing as football when that was established.

I call it the gold standard, which is why that phrase is the basis for the title of a book that I've written for ESPN Books. The gold standard is why Notre Dame is scrutinized. Charlie Weis has brought Notre Dame back to national prominence in football while using the gold standard as the blueprint.

For no matter how many football games Notre Dame has won, at the end of the day, it just isn't worth it if the standard of excellence is compromised.

Notre Dame is not about winning football games. Sometimes it seems like it, but it's not. Notre Dame is about an ideal, a way of life, the Catholic Church. To think that football could ever be more important than any of those things is wrong.

Now, you can call that naïve and pie in the sky and just flat wrong. That's fine. You believe what you think Notre Dame is and I'll take to my grave what I believe Notre Dame is.

Don't get me wrong, Notre Dame football is important. It's important to you, me, the school that is willing to pay Charlie Weis millions of dollars, and everyone that has a rooting interest in the Irish. It's important because so many care about the outcome.

But that's not what Notre Dame means. If they took Notre Dame football away tomorrow—simply put an end to the program—the Notre Dame ideal would remain unchanged. It wouldn't affect the Grotto and its significance, it wouldn't alter the spirituality that is found inside the basilica, and it wouldn't change the feeling I get when I walk on that campus. Without football, Touchdown Jesus might simply be known as the savior raising his arms to his flock. The essence of Notre Dame has nothing to do with football.

By scrutinizing Notre Dame through my work, I have the chance to show the greatness of Notre Dame. That may result in a critical comment about a coach or administrator or a player or two. But it doesn't change the image that I have of Notre Dame.

Notre Dame is bigger than any Heisman Trophy winner, bigger than a head coach and his national titles, bigger in fact than any human being who has ever worked at Notre Dame.

My job, as I see it, is to report on the University of Notre Dame and Notre Dame football. I don't critique it to exalt myself above them or to show how smart I am. I take a critical look at Notre Dame because of the respect I have for the institution and what it stands for. In the end, Notre Dame will show itself quite well amidst the scrutiny.

So go ahead, Notre Dame critics, shine the light right on the school and the program. Take your best shot over and over again. Notre Dame can take it.

Nobody can change what Fr. Sorin established. Nobody can change the ideal that is Notre Dame.

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